As the ‘hugging time’ draws ever near, this is an official tutorial on preparing to partake in this complex act. Please enjoy – and remember, a hug is not supposed to be frightening and in time, it may become pleasing.

Caution: contains rude Caution: it’s messy cos I was too lazy to correct all mistakes LESSON ONE:

Many a person began new initiatives under lockdown – Mr Brimstone Piper is an excellent example, creating his own ‘twisted’ exercise regime. Although it might look fun he has urged no one to try these poses as he is currently head-to-toe in plaster at All Fools Hospital after spending too long in the ’empowering thrust’ position

NEW SHOW COMING SOON: CELEBRITIES FILL RAMMIKINS (SIC.). IT’S GOT EVERYTHING! AND SO VERY MUCH MORE!

I have no idea why two copies of this have appeared, one full size, the other small. Life is a mystery. Everyone can stand alone. I hear a zebra neigh and it feels like home.