Bletcher Fey, incredibly famous for his banana-only cocktails in the town of Phissoph (population, three). His winning catchphrase: “just stick a banana in it” has been adopted by many (two) as a light-hearted greeting on encountering another. Long live banana-only cocktails! And, of course, Bletcher Fey!

Bletcher Fey: Banana-Only Cocktail Maker

As the ‘hugging time’ draws ever near, this is an official tutorial on preparing to partake in this complex act. Please enjoy – and remember, a hug is not supposed to be frightening and in time, it may become pleasing.

Caution: contains rude Caution: it’s messy cos I was too lazy to correct all mistakes LESSON ONE: