Back from his holiday of planking 24/7 in a pine-cone floored, minuscule hut, Mr Brimstone Piper has created some new moves

THESE ARE NOT FOR BEGINNERS! I present: Sketches of Stretches, both bold, enterprising and spectacular (the wonkiness of sketch is due to a humming bird that darted flit-flat across my face the whole time)

M.E.T. Main. Entrance. Training is far more difficult than you’d imagine. There are so many details we know nothing about when it comes to main entrances, for example, if the entrance has Doric Columns, how would that affect the pose required to main entrance it. The Supervisor, Sir The Supervisor has told the main entrance people at their main entrance training academy that they must build trust with people who are not trained in main entrance. Sir The Supervisor has therefore organised a fun day out and told main entrance trainees to be silly and playful – show everyone how fun and lovely they are: